The end of Major Project…?

So already I’ve fulfilled my promise to make these blog posts irregular. Success.

It’s been a little while since I last wrote something, though I have been wanting to for a while. It’s liberating, in a way, that I don’t do these posts for anyone but myself in the sense that I can write when I feel I want to.

I think today I want to talk a bit about where I’m at with my photography at the moment. It’s a really weird time to be honest. I’ve all but finished my major project, I’m bookmaking this week and after that it’s ready to be shared. It’s such a weird feeling, being nearly done with University. I imagine it will feel weirder when I actually leave, but in terms of image-making, I’m done. Strange, strange feeling.

When I last wrote, just after I went to New York City, I spoke briefly about my project, but at that time it hadn’t really found its feet yet. At the time, I hadn’t quite figured out the meaning of my work. I was walking around aimlessly photographing things along the way without quite grasping why I was doing what I was doing.

I’ll talk about it in more depth when I release my major project, ‘You Are Here’ on my website in the next few weeks, but essentially its a project that showcases me learning to manage anxiety through long distance photowalks.

I guess what I want to write about is where I’m currently at, having done that project. I started ‘You Are Here’ as a response to the masses of anxiety I was feeling, and in response to always feeling a bit like a passenger in my life. I wanted to feel more connected. In many ways, the work greatly helped. I feel happier, I notice more things around me, and I feel as though I’m less of a passenger. I’ve taken steps to improve my wellbeing and even though some days it’s hard to stick to some of them, I think I’m heading the right way.

In a way, I feel as though I messed up my Major Project. It took me a long time to work out exactly how to do it logistically and even longer to work out the meaning of it. Once it fell into place it was fantastic, but that period of uncertainty I already wish I could have back. It was strange because it felt like I only had a few weeks of shooting before I stopped to focus on the book.

A couple of days ago, I picked up my camera after what felt like an eternity. In reality it was probably a few weeks. I went for a walk through the park, and I really noticed the change my project had had on me.

I spent the whole walk on my knees photographing flowers with a really shallow depth of field, close up, and all in the black and white film simulation on my Fuji XT5. The images felt quiet, calm, peaceful, and beautiful. These images have nothing to do with ‘You Are Here’ at all, but it’s so nice to see that the project has had a lasting impact on me, my mind, and my photographic style.

So after probably too much waffle, here’s some images I shot in the park a couple days ago.

Enjoy…